Sunday 12 November 2017

I'm Cross - Muddy Parenting "Advice"

May I just say a few words, if you will bear with me, on "imbalance" in society/media which is evident in the behaviour of many children, and the lawlessness and disrespect from a great number of youth.





An example of something I see going on a lot is the rolling eyes and sighing that goes along with:
" ... and they told the children off for going UP the slide."

Check the attitude of the child who is going up the slide.
Is it a challenge and fun to go up the slide?  Are they extending themselves in a healthy way?  Providing much-needed sensory input?  Great!

or 

does the child have an attitude of "I own this, nobody else is allowed, it is constantly MY turn - SEE, I go down, and then I go UP straight away. Ha! MY TURN!"
Not so great.

If you're at someone else's property (a school/cafe/friend's place) do they perhaps have a reason for the "No going up the slide" rule?
Check the attitude, stay respectful.

Don't get caught up on the eye-rolling bandwagon, immediately judging anyone who wants their children (or visiting children) to only go down the slide.


Another one that is bugging me is the term "helicopter parent".
I've seen this used so often, thrown around, and used in the same way one might say "abusive parent", making diligent and considerate parents feel overbearing and overprotective. Once again, the balance is being pushed over and trampled on.
Check your reasons for, and the attitude towards protecting/checking on/prohibiting things. SERIOUSLY check them, and then stand strong if anyone questions or challenges you.

Also something that came up in my first point - "eye rolling" and speaking disrespectfully about other people/making fun of other people.
Always (as much as you can) model to your children what you wish them to be like.   And one would hope that eye-rolling is not a goal.
One last thing, the term "mindless obedience" has become mixed up with "obedience". Teach your child to be thoughtful and wise - that they will consider WHY they are doing things in EVERY situation - whether it be obedience or any other area. 



I have got a bit grumpy about these things of late - very, very weary of reading constant unbalanced opinions stated as fact, and potentially confusing and bullying new parents.


Parents are responsible for the safety of their child. They are responsible for the balanced, respectful, careful, rich, loving, mindful raising of their child.

Children NEED parents to be responsible and solid,  to lead them to independence gradually, but not give them too much decision-making and responsibility too soon - or in moments of exhaustion, confusion, when they are overwhelmed or screaming out for direction!

So, as I have mentioned before - figure out what works for YOUR family, what you want your future to look like for yourself and your children. Treasure healthy relationships, forgive yourself for being a human if things come undone, and determine to do better in any way you can.

If that means reading less, distancing yourself from media, blogs, articles etc, then do so.   

Things are getting really muddy out there. 

Monday 6 November 2017

Mud Kitchens

A few years back we built the children a mud kitchen.  It got A LOT of use!  It never looked like "the ones on Pinterest" because we used it and made big messes.






I was reminded of this today because I came across this family in the Isle of Wight who make the most beautiful mud kitchens.





 Does that inspire you to make something in a suitable corner of the garden/deck/patio for your children?

Let me know if you do build something fun!

Wednesday 1 November 2017

BITS AND PIECES AROUND OUR PLACE

Newcomers to the lifestyle of home education often wonder what "resources" they should collect.  There are as many opinions on this as there are families home educating!  And for good reason.  If your children are sporty/outdoorsy sorts then you might be wasting your money buying lots of board games, puzzles and DVDs.   However, if you have children who are heavily into arty/creative pursuits then it would be a nice idea to collect bits of fabric, glue, cardboard, old car radios to demolish etc.

So my advice:  

- start with YOUR family's interests, and go from there

- look for toys and belongings that will be enduring

- remember that very young children really don't need much at all to play with, and often are happier with household objects and having you involved in the game.

 
Some parents don't like faddish, trendy toys.  I don't particularly, but if one of my children (at the age of having some maturity and reasoning) has saved their money and is making purchasing decisions by themselves, then it's part of real life to buy what you like.  Perhaps there will be buyer's remorse.  Perhaps it will become a treasured item to remind the child of that time in their life.    A parent with a healthy, respectful attitude towards this sort of thing will find the lines of communication open, and the child may receive and enjoy advice/stories of "when I was younger I bought a <fill in the blank> and <consequence> happened."  
(My children like the story of "When Mummy bought the "Roar Power" accessory for her bicycle ...")

Enough talking!   

I took a few photos from around our place to give young families some ideas of what they might like to look out for in op-shops, garage sales, or even request from grandparents etc.

(Remember - we have been adding to our stash for over 20 years, sifting out the things that arn't worth keeping, and trying to maintain the ones that are used a lot.)


     
Nice little bits of fabric, easily accessible to be grabbed and used.








Jigsaw puzzles and some of our games
Our crafting suitcase - felt fabric, embroidery floss, needles, embroidery hoops etc
Beautiful soft wool roving (sliver) for wet-felting, needle-felting or adding as a loose part to a game (I sell this!)
LEGO!!!     Fantastic for the fingers and the brain
We have a little stash of notebook, art books and stationary so people can get one at any time for a project (we usually buy them at the "Back To School" sales in late January/early Feb.)
Something nice for when Mummy plays with someone - I like to enjoy the game too!
Cars, cars and more cars
A personal library

One of my TOP recommendations is that every family should have their own library
Our library is in our hallway - even in a small house it's imperative to have a personal library!!!

Beautiful art equipment that is only used by careful arty sorts

Pens, pencils, washi tape, scissors, sellotape ... you might probably guess that I love art stuff!

Things that make you feel good when you look at them - when you are at home so much it's important to personalize your home, make it work and feel good for everyone living there

Some children love em, some children can't be bothered - soft toys and puppets

More bits of fabric for projects

More books that won't fit in our library (this is our storeroom)

Must be time for a tidy-up in the storeroom ...  I see a mess - he sees ADVENTURE

Minatures (not for little people who SCATTER them far and wide)

More puzzles in our storeroom

Magnetix, and magnet tiles (not photographed) highly recommended

Things you might not consider to be fun. 

Playmobil

Wooden dollhouse furniture - an acceptable scale for Sylvanian, Kelly Dolls, "Wooden and Rope people" and Fisher Price Loving Family dolls etc

Marble Roller kit (would prefer a wooden one, but am grateful for this one)

Favourite stash of marker pens!
And just to show you what my little guy was playing with as I was photographing some of our resources!

 I hope this has been interesting for you to look at.  Do you have any resources you would definitely include in your "we have loved these" list?